I am pretentious.

March 18, 2009

This blog is old, I never utilized it.

I had many ideas to work with, and they went unused.

I am here, writing again now, simply to appear to be typing something interesting in an empty coffeeshop where the employees are hiding out in the back.


Bailout Please!

December 8, 2008

I have hit a genuine low point in my life.  I have realized this through a nice good prayer with God.  It is now my duty to make a valid assessment of the situation and grab the last life preserver to get to solid ground and rebuild rather than go further down and sink with the ship.

Encouragement is always appreciated.  But acknowledging this fact already has me feeling a bit optimistic.

International Crime

October 7, 2008

I remain tired, more than I feel I should be.  It is not very comfortable, but I am dealing with it.  This physical status has defined so much of my life, as I tend to sleep far more than peers, and face the greatest of difficulties when it comes to waking up at any time other than when my body is ready.

But unlike a few days so far this semester, I did make it to class on time.  And perhaps more unlike a few other days, I paid close attention during my second class today.  We had a student led discussion on a sonnet by Keats titled, “On First Looking Into Chapman’s Homer.”

I must confess that I have not been greatly amused by my “Romantic Movement” course, which has been a course of poetry thus far.  It should be said, however, that I am not a great fan of poetry overall, and therefore very picky.  So it should be little surprise that I have not read many of the assignments.  I know, I sound like a terrible student…but I am studying at GWU based on academic merit and I have never been much more active in my studies.

I suppose that if I have a point I want to make, and keep this entry brief I should get there.  First of all, one of the two students leading the discussion was clearly not familiar with Homer, sad, but I could understand that.  I needed to point out to her a big argument which would help her presentation but of which she was naively unfamiliar.  Homer was a blind poet.

During this discussion of the sonnet I made a startling realization pertaining to my own childhood, and leading up to the point I am currently at in life, as well as where I am heading.

Homer’s great work The Odyssey has been a dominant force in my life, making me who I am, and guiding certain of my great ambitions.  I was taken by the Greek epic when I was young, but not only for the mythology, also from the literary side.  I read countless children’s additions, and learned about how certain things are keep and others removed.  I learned how the name of Odysseus could change to Ulysses.  And I learned that there is a whole world beyond just the text itself which is almost necessary for the ultimate enjoyment and understanding of the work.

The Odyssey turned me into a bibliophile, an English major, a classicist, and so much more, and continues to guide my education and aims in life.  I’m very glad for it.

Tell-Tale Signs

October 6, 2008

The beauty if life lies in the upturns that always balance each sorrow.  I immediately find myself in need of responding to my previous post, for the universe works so quick.  Already I have received some convenient joys that are lifting my from my low state.

Perhaps more importantly, I am in tune with the fact that simply presenting my “ailments” allows for a cure to arrive.  I’ll publish this entry now, but hopefully I’ll remember to come back and make more sense of what I have written.

Diving In

October 6, 2008

Forgive my ignorance, but what exactly is a “dive bar”?

In reference to Paulo Coelho’s article, “The Strength of the Warrior” I realize I have fallen into the abyss.  I am startled by phantoms and tormented by loneliness; I am surrounded by darkness.  I must communicate with my master.

Perpetual acute depression.  This is my abyss.  Maybe a medical text would show another name, and maybe it sounds more (or less) sever than it really is, but this abyss of mine is suffocating me.

My master will tell me, “It’s not the fall which drowns, but the length of time underwater.”

I can allow myself to drown, or I can use all my strength to get out of this situation in which I find myself.

I must use all my strength.  I must develop the will to escape this abyss, and not give up until I have moved well forward.